To file or not to file.
Around this time of year we see people struggling over the decision of whether to file for divorce now, or wait until after the holidays. In many cases, it makes sense to wait. Even if you know that the marriage is over, the pressures of family life during the holidays may be enough stress to manage in the moment. In most marriages, there is no urgency. Even if you file in November, nothing is going to happen in your divorce case until the next year, barring an emergency.
When should you take action right away?
- When there is abuse or a danger of violence. If you are in fear for your safety you should take immediate action. You may qualify for a restraining order which can be granted on an emergency ex parte basis through the Massachusetts District Court or the Probate and Family Court in your county.
- Where there is a risk of serious imminent financial harm such as your spouse divesting marital assets in anticipation of divorce. In Massachusetts, once a party files for divorce an automatic financial restraining order goes into effect prohibiting the parties from transferring or depleting marital resources.
- The conflict in the home is worse for the children than spending the holidays with the tension of a pending divorce.
What to do while you wait.
Wait as long as you need to, but consult with a lawyer now. It makes sense to wait until after the holidays, especially for families with children. However, if you know that the marriage is going to end, you need to understand your rights now. Some issues in a divorce, such as alimony, are determined based on the length of the marriage. You need to understand how the filing date might affect your case before you make a decision to wait or not to wait. If you want to take action now, you can use this time to organize your year-end financial documents.
You have the rest of your life to be divorced. Get some advice, get organized, but take the time you need to make the right decision for yourself and your family.